Dashing Through MR?
by TMI
Summary: The flock are relaxing before Christmas, when suddenly, a band of teenage girls parade by with a strange set of carols to sing. They explain they wrote these songs in protest of the last three books of the Maximum Ride series... Say what! T for language.


**I've always wanted to write a Christmas fic. =D**

**I got a set of Prismacolor pencils and a new sketchbook! -doodle doodle- What did you guys get?**

**Disclaimer: "Stop moving, pizza, I'm trying to cut you! Arghh, why isn't it cutting? I'm gonna eat you! Hehe, it works cause it's pizza. Hehe."****  
><strong>**I doubt JP would do that. However, TMI most definitely has.**

The flock plus Ella were all sprawled out across Dr. M's winter vacation home's floor. They basked in the heat of the flames from the fireplace, wrapped in blankets and attempting to dry off and warm up. Each had their own mug of hot chocolate which they were steadily nursing, and each were half-asleep. They had just trooped in from a four hour game of guerilla style snowball war- no rules, all wings, powers, and dirty tricks allowed- and were the epitome of exhaustion.

"Well," Iggy murmured sleepily, his head propped against the wall and his sightless eyes half shut. "That was fun."

Max snorted. "Yeah, for you. You and Gazzy made bombs out of snow and lobbed them at all of us, on your team or not!"

Ella stirred from her seat on the couch, blearily opening her eyes and shaking her wet head. "I still don't understand how that was even possible," she yawned. "Snow is water. Water is wet. So how did it explode?"

"Wet things can explode!" Gazzy piped in defensively.

"I now know that, unfortunately," Ella agreed. "I wish I didn't."

Iggy and Gazzy snickered, slapping weak high fives before falling limp again.

Max smirked suddenly, opening her eyes and staring triumphantly at the duo. "But Fang and I got our revenge. We kicked your skinny butts so hard I'm surprised you're still in this time zone," she retorted, snuggling closer to the boy in mention.

Fang smiled slightly, his black eyes staying closed as he tightened his grip around Max. "We destroyed you," he murmured in quiet agreement. "Snow bombs are useless against us."

Gazzy pouted. "But you guys have unfair powers," he whined. "You slipped into our fort with a ton of snowballs and did your disappearing trick, then started lobbing them at us," he accused, pointing at Fang. "And Max used her super speed to make a sort of scary snow tornado and trapped us inside it while you were making more snowballs!"

Fang smirked, pressing a light kiss to Max's temple. "That's my girl," he said teasingly.

Max shifted her head to grin up at Fang. "You're not so bad yourself, partner," she replied. "We're kinda epic."

"Well no one can say that that wasn't an entertaining snowball fight," Nudge chirped, taking a huge gulp of her hot chocolate. "I laughed so hard when Total pegged Fang with a snowball. And when Ella and I teamed up against Max and threw snowballs at her for like a minute straight before she figured out where we were and creamed us back? And then when Angel made Iggy build a ton of snowballs and throw them at himself?"

Angel smiled. "That was hilarious," she announced, pronouncing the word carefully as she sipped her cocoa. Iggy scowled in her direction, causing Ella and Nudge to laugh.

"Well, tomorrow's Christmas," Max said, breaking the small silence that had formed. "You guys excited?"

"Heck yeah I am! And ZOMG I have the best presents ever for everybody! I can't wait!" Nudge squealed.

"I want to go caroling," Ella decided. "Can we do that please? It'll be fun with all of us together!"

"Max can't sing to save her life," Iggy murmured.

Max rolled her eyes, not even trying to argue. "It's true," she agreed. "But I can just mouth the words if you guys want to go."

"Wait, is that a caroling group now?" Gazzy asked, standing up and peering out the living room window. The window looked out onto the frosty street, where snow was piled against the sides of the road and only the occasional car drove past. There hadn't been any carolers before, so Gazzy's question came as a surprise to the group.

Sure enough, however, there was a group of teenage girls parading down the street and singing their hearts out. The group was led by a girl who looked to be around fourteen, with thick winter clothes obscuring most of her appearance. She was carrying a thick book in her purple gloved hands, and was shouting her carol enthusiastically. All of her followers carried pencils and notebooks as they marched. Alarmingly, one even had what looked like a holstered pistol. Hopefully the gun wasn't actually real.

Hopefully. Or else these were some pretty badass singers.

"There are carolers!" Ella cheered. "Let's go outside and listen!"

"But they're teenage girls," Iggy pointed out. "Remember what happened the last time Fang and I went out in public and were seen by teenage girls?"

Max's eyes narrowed in anger at the memory. "Half of them fainted, and the other half started screaming and asking you guys out," she growled. "Yes, I remember."

"Maybe you guys should put on hats and scarves and sunglasses to cover yourselves up first," Ella suggested. "They're still really far away. I can't even hear them yet, with normal hearing. You have time to disguise yourselves."

Three minutes later saw Fang and Iggy clad in nondescript blue scarves wrapped all the way up to their noses, black beanies, and dark sunglasses. There was no way any girl would be able to see their faces clearly and faint/scream/propose marriage at the sight.

Perfect.

After this precaution was taken, Ella led the flock outside. They sat down at the edge of the porch to watch as the carolers went by. "I think they're singing jingle bells," Max remarked, her forehead crinkling in confusion, "but there's some really strange lyrics."

"I know," Nudge agreed. "It sounds almost like they're saying our names! Weird."

The group of girls reached their cabin just as Fang had seated himself with Angel in his lap. The carolers all turned to face them, halting their song for a moment as they scrutinized Ella and the flock.

The girl in front held up her book, her eyes fixing on Max. "This is a book called Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment," she announced, her voice ringing through the cold air. "We are authors of its fandom, and we have a complaint to voice with its author, James Patterson."

The flock stared at the girl, dumbfounded by her declaration. "Did she just say the _book_, Maximum Ride?" Nudge managed to croak out.

Max was staring in disbelief at the leader of these so-called carolers. "There's a book called Maximum Ride?" she asked, her voice much calmer than she was feeling at the moment.

The lead caroler nodded. "Right. There's a whole series called Maximum Ride. They're amazing books!" she replied enthusiastically.

"Except for the last three," one of the carolers behind her muttered. The rest of the group murmured in sage agreement.

"Well yeah," the lead caroler agreed, "but that's what we're going to talk with JP about, right girls?"

Fang thought he saw the one with the (hopefully it was a toy) gun pat her holster threateningly.

Well.

He was going to ignore that.

"So here's a Christmas carol for you! It's written by me, TMI, and sang for you courtesy of all the ticked off Maximum Ride fans we have gathered here today," the girl, TMI apparently, waved her hand towards her fellow carolers.

"What kind of a name is TMI?" Nudge murmured questioningly, not loud enough for TMI and co to hear.

"Shut up- your name is Nudge," Ella retorted.

Nudge thought about that for a moment, then laughed. "I guess you're right," she decided. "I'm not really one to judge if names are weird, am I?"

No one had time to respond though, because TMI had waved her hand, launching the carolers into song.

"Dashing through MR,  
>With a cast of characters,<br>Through the skies we go,  
>With Gaz, Angel, Nudge 'n Total.<br>Pelting Dylan with eggs,  
>And laughing merrily,<br>What fun it is to hang out with  
>My favorite cool mutant bird kids.<p>

"Oh!  
>Max and Fang,<br>Dylan (dang!)  
>Angel's so darn cute!<br>Nudge just painted Total's nails,  
>And Gaz and Ig exploded Brigid's face!<p>

"Lissa is such a jerk  
>And Sam's a wiener through.<br>Dylan should curl up and die  
>And it wouldn't hurt if Brigid did too!<p>

"Oh!  
>Max and Fang!<br>Dylan (dang!)  
>Angel's so darn cute!<br>Nudge just painted Total's nails  
>And Gaz and Ig exploded Bridgit's face!<p>

"What's up with Dr. M?  
>She's acting super weird,<br>I wonder why JP wanted to piss off his fans  
>By publishing the last three books!<p>

"Oh!  
>Max and Fang!<br>Dylan (dang!)  
>Angel's so darn cute!<br>Nudge just painted Total's nails  
>And Gaz and Ig exploded Brigid's face!<p>

"Now what JP should do,  
>Is recall ANGEL, MAX, and FANG,<br>Have all his fans purchase some guns  
>And point the barrels to his head while he rewrites them!<p>

"Oh!  
>Max and Fang!<br>Dylan (dang!)  
>Angel's so darn cute!<br>Nudge just painted Total's nails  
>And Gaz and Ig exploded Brigid's face!<p>

"I'm really quite confused  
>What happened to the Fax?<br>Why does Max suddenly love Dylan?  
>And why the hell do all the characters randomly start PMSing!<p>

"OH!  
>Max and Fang!<br>Dylan (dang!)  
>Angel's so darn cute!<br>Nudge just painted Total's nails  
>And Gaz and Ig exploded Brigid's face!<p>

"I must apologize,  
>For I have realized<br>What was supposed to be a holiday song  
>Turned into one gigantic rant!<br>But you must understand,  
>Where I am coming from,<br>Who's up for coming with me when  
>I follow through with verse number four?<p>

"Oh!  
>Max and Fang!<br>Dylan (dang!)  
>Angel's so darn cute!<br>Nudge just painted Total's nails  
>And Gaz and Ig exploded Brigid's face!"<p>

And with that, TMI bowed dramatically towards the incredibly confused listeners sitting on the steps.

"Merry Christmas everyone!" she declared grandly. She turned on her heel and kept marching on down the road, her fellow carolers following as they burst into song again, this time to the tune of Deck the Halls.

"Wrecking MR is JP's forte,  
>Fa la la la la, la la la la!<br>Why did Fang suddenly ditch the fl-ock?  
>Fa la la la la, la la la la!<br>After he said he'd never le-eave!  
>Fa la la, la la la, la la la!<br>JP should leave writing Fax to the MR fandom  
>Before he makes Max hook up with Dylan!"<p>

And away they went on their merry way, the one with the gun waving it around enthusiastically.

Max stared at Fang. "You're gonna ditch the flock?"

Fang raised an eyebrow. "Who's Dylan?" he retorted.

Max's eyes flashed. "How should I know? I've never met a Dylan before," she snapped.

"Well why did they say you fell in love with him?" Fang accused.

Ella stepped in between them. "Guys, guys! Calm down!" she tried to break up the fight before it really got going. "They were carolers for Pete's sake! It's not like they're actually saying the truth! Just calm down and realize it was all just a song."

Fang looked slightly reconciled by this. "Well, you do have a point there," he agreed. "It was just a song."

"Yeah," Max said slowly, staring after the band of carolers as they marched out of sight. "I'm just wondering how they got our names."

There was a slight silence.

"Internet?" Gazzy suggested.

Max turned to look at him, a thoughtful expression on her face. "Probably," she agreed. "Come on, let's go back inside. I wasn't done with my hot chocolate."

Ella led the flock back inside, all scrambling back to their drinks. Max started to follow them inside, but when she was just crossing the doorway someone grasped her upper arm and held her back. Max turned, only to find Fang standing in front of her, a slight smile on his face. "Yeah?" she asked after a moment.

"Sorry about accusing you about that Dylan dude from the song," Fang murmured, gently letting go of Max's arm. "I guess I got a little protective there."

Max smiled, stepping back onto the threshold to stand beside Fang. "It's okay. I got mad about the song too," she admitted. "Sorry."

"I'll forgive you on one condition," Fang said solemnly, looking Max calmly in the eye.

She cocked an eyebrow at him, slightly confused. "What's the condition?" she asked bemusedly.

Fang smiled. "Look up," he told her simply.

"Okay…?" Max said hesitantly, wondering at the strange request. She shrugged, tilting her head up to gaze skywards.

Dangling only inches from her head was a sprig of greenery. It was dripping with tiny white berries, and hung from the doorway by a slender red ribbon. "What's that?" Max asked, reaching up and pulling the sprig off the doorway. She held it close to her face, inspecting the white berries. "Some sort of poisonous plant?"

Fang laughed, much to Max's surprise. "I honestly have no idea if it's poisonous. It probably is," Fang replied, taking the sprig from Max's hand. "But I do know its name."

"Which is?…" Max prodded. She wanted to know what the dang plant was! And why had someone tied it to the doorway?

"Mistletoe," Fang whispered, suddenly very close.

Max felt incredibly stupid. Just because she was an uneducated bird kid didn't mean she was unaware of the implications of mistletoe. She watched TV enough to know what it meant.

Surprisingly, she managed not to panic while Fang slowly closed the gap between them and pressed his lips to hers. After a moment, Max was even able to lift her hands up to Fang's shoulders and pull him closer.

The mistletoe was dropped on the floor, completely disregarded by the couple standing in the doorway. Its purpose had been served.

So that crazy caroling girl had been right about one thing- it was a very merry Christmas.

**YAY! I know it was a cliche ending, but seriously- I was craving Fax. =D mistletoe is very useful for such cravings. =D**

**And yes, I do portray myself as a crazy songwriting, singing author. It's not very far from the truth. =P**

**Review please! Merry Christmas to all!**

**~TMI~**


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